One of my greatest talents is my ability to relate to and communicate with children. I have always loved children. I raised 5 biological children, including two sets of twins born 20 months apart, and I am currently parenting my 16 year old step son, who lost his mother last year in a sudden episode of anaphalactic shock in repsonse to the ingestion of pine nuts. I also raised 30 foster children. Each of those foster children were diagnosed with PTSD, and the training I received while working with them, plus my years as a nurse,and of course my experiences as a mother, have helped to teach me that children often experience feelings of guilt over many circumstances of life. In my work in Family Readiness we have always emphasized the children of the unit, and providing programs, information, and most importantly recognition for them of their unique specialness as the child of a Soldier, and their own sacrifice and service. We often did this in public ways, and in front of their parents. The response was overwhelmingly positive. I often spent one on one time with the children of our units, as well as time working with them in a group setting as they helped in preparation for events such as Family Day or Holiday Celebrations. Some of the expressions they made to me revealed how deeply they think about their parent's service, how much more than we as adults realize they consider ideas and thoughts of a profound nature related to the parent's service. Some questions I have had asked of me by children include:
1. "Nana, do the enemy guys have families?" My response, "I think some of them probably do." Her next question, "So Nana, if
my daddy kills their daddy, who will take care of them?" 5 year old grand daughter concerning her father's service
2. Another grand-child from a non military primary family: "Nana how are we going to keep Papa from getting killed when he
goes to the war?" 7 year old grandson concerning my husband's service.
3. "You know what I worry about sometimes, if my Daddy will have to go to war and he will get killed." 9 year old girl from our
unit.
4. "My mom and dad are getting a divorce because my mom hates the Army because my dad goes away sometimes." 8 year
old boy from our unit
5. "When I am too noisy and break things at my house my daddy goes away with the Army." 7 year old boy from our unit
There are too many others to list them all, but the topic of this discussion is: Do you as a military family find enough resources and help for your children and yourself as you deal wirth your children during deployments, also, what have you found to be of value as you support your children during deployments. I have found that often the media representations of military families dwell on the negative and sacrifices that the children of military families experience. Do you feel, as I do, that not only are there sacrifices, but gaining positive life skills and a certain confidence, pride, and identity can be the most significant part of growing up in a military family? Also do you think that as we as parents and Army Family can actively instill in our children positive ideals and skills that can be the determining factor concerning whether growing up in a military family is a plus or a negative for them?
